Teenagers and Their Friends

Teenagers form all kinds of relationships. Friendships provide teenagers the opportunity to start building relationships outside of the family. As human beings, God has created us to be social creatures. No wonder we are very comfortable in the company of family, friends and acquaintances. Friendship is an important element in our lives. It brings about a fulfilled and contented life and people who have close friends are usually happy and stable. But on the other hand, our friends may cause us grief, hardship and disappointment.

Importance of Friendship to Teens

During the teenage years, a lot of teens will prefer to spend more time with their peers than with their parents, siblings, etc. Therefore, friends influence many aspects of a teenager’s life. Healthy friendships can help teenagers engage in a positive lifestyle and avoid the negative characteristics that are associated with this period of their life.

1.      Healthy Self-esteem

When teenagers have healthy friendships, they feel accepted and confident which paves the way for healthy social and emotional development. Such a teenager is less likely to be negatively affected by bullying and other forms of rejection and may also be less likely to engage in the bullying of others.

2.     Positive Influence

Friends can be positive influences in the academic, social and personal lives of teenagers and persuade a teenager to make good choices. Such influences include discouraging delinquency and encouraging success in school work. They also provide the basis for a larger network of relationships that will be helpful for the teenager later in life.

3.     Loyal Confidant

Teenage years, experts have confirmed, are often stressful. Therefore, trustworthy and loyal friends become very important to help teenagers deal with the stress and uncertainty that is a normal part of their development. In helping teenagers deal with the challenges of adolescence, friends can serve as a sounding board for tedious issues such as relationships, school, work, conflict with parents, dating, etc.

4.     Healthy Fun

Friendship is usually, a good outlet for fun and excitement and help teenagers to find healthy ways to have fun outside of home, school and work. It is when the friendship is unhealthy that a teenager may engage in negative behavior but healthy friendships encourage good companionship, recreation and the pursuit of positive, common goals.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

It isn’t easy being a teenager and having to steer adolescence but it is harder to do it without friends, especially those who share your values and beliefs. As a Christian teenager, friends should be chosen carefully noting the admonition of Apostle Paul, “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Other Scriptures such as Proverbs 1:10-19 and Proverbs 4:14-19 contain warnings about friends and how we should choose them. We are not to associate with those who entice us to do wrong, no matter how appealing their “friendship” seems to be. Those whose “feet rush to sin” should be avoided. The path they choose is no place for a Christian whose choice should be to follow the “path of the righteous.” That is the only that path leads to friendship with God, which is the ultimate goal of a Christian.

Dealing with Non-Christian Friends

The world is full of different beliefs and opinions which is a point to note for Christian teenagers who have to deal with non-Christian friends. Your faith will be tested in many ways by their thoughts, words and actions. So, what should you do?

1.       Hold on to your faith. What does it mean to be a Christian? Regularly read, study and meditate on the word of God, which is the Bible, so you can gain more and better understanding. There, you will receive strength and courage to remain in the faith.

2.      Keep an open mind. Despite that your faith is sacrosanct, you should be willing to hear other points of view and learn from them. You will be gaining new knowledge and experiences as you grow older.

3.      Be an ambassador of your faith. Set a good example and a high standard for the Christian faith (1 Timothy 4:12). This will help you to interact with non-Christian friends. Even if they believe differently, they will respect your faith by your expression of your words, thoughts and actions.

4.      Discuss your faith calmly. In the course of your friendship, occasion will arise when you may need to comment on a discussion by referring to your faith. Taking note of the different points of view, make your submission with tact and dignity. Try not to yell or dismiss other opinions or cut people off. When you become aggressive and intolerant, such behavior will only drive people away from you.

5.      Respect your friends. Friendship is based on mutual respect. Just as you expect your friends to respect your beliefs, you should be tolerant of theirs. You do not have to agree with them, but you shouldn’t make crude remarks about their beliefs. Remain positive and agree to disagree. Remember that they have the right to exercise their free will. So, respect those choices.

Conclusion

There are many reasons why teenagers who are Christians need friends with faith:

1.  Accountability. As a teenager, you are confronted with the responsibility to make significant life choices. It isn't easy to make the right decisions especially when there are so many options which appear attractive on the surface but are in conflict with our beliefs. Imagine having your friends planning activities in church with you. You’ll be more excited to join them in church rather than staying in bed on a Sunday morning which would seem more appealing.

2.   Spiritual support. Friendship provides physical and emotional support for everyone, especially teenagers. So, they turn to their friends for advice and information more than anyone else; which is why it is very important that the support they receive from their friends is rooted in Scripture.

3.    Sense of belonging. Teenagers are so preoccupied with fitting in and friendships help to foster that sense of belonging. They not only belong to a Christian community, but also belong to Christ. This realization goes a long way to reinforce their confidence that it is cool to be a Christian.