Social Intelligence for Teenagers

“Millennials (aka Generation Y) are great at social media (Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, Twitter,Tumblr, Instagram, Flickr, Snapchat, Pinterest, YouTube, Vimeo, and Periscope) but lack time tested social skills ( patience, humility, active listening, respect for parents, teachers, elderly)” ― Ramesh Lohia

Social Intelligence is usually described as “the set of abilities and skills that we use to understand social situations”. These are the skills needed to get along at local gatherings, the workplace and the market place, etc.

It is a well known fact that a lot of young people today, lack social skills for various reasons. Maybe they were bullied as children and got used to keeping away due to the embarrassment. Or maybe they were simply shy and find it difficult to interact with others. Or then again, maybe they were raised, as children, in an environment with few other children their age. Whatever may be the reason, something needs to be done about the social skills and abilities of our young people to enable them get the best out of their endeavours in life.

More employers are now choosing social intelligence in their new recruits, over and above IQ tests and examination results. Social skills, they believe, are more important in the work place and need to be developed long before young people finish with schooling and begin to apply for jobs.

The ability to interact with other people has proven to be very successful in the place of business too. It serves well in networking, partnerships and alliances, and with linkages. The lack of social skills can be the difference between the successful business and the failing one. For, in that environment, it is no longer about just what you know, but majorly about ‘who’ you know.

In times past, there were lots of physical interactions in diverse areas of life. The family was a huge platform for social interaction. For grandparents, parents, siblings, spouses, children, cousins, grandchildren, uncles and aunts, nieces and nephews were close knit and there were family gatherings to keep everyone closer.

There were platforms for interaction within the community itself. There was the cadre of community leaders, women groups, youth groups, men’s groups, etc; the church, the schools, hospitals, businesses, the public services, etc. These were vibrant hubs for social interaction and relationship building. They also provided opportunities for mentoring, counselling, training at many levels, conflict resolution, etc.

Today’s young people may not have the benefit of such an experience but have the opportunity of social interaction taken to a whole new level, using technology. With smartphones, the internet, television, etc, people can now connect with others in far flung areas and build relationships too.

It has been said that the digital gadgets have contributed to keeping our young people locked in their personal corners, thereby promoting anti-social habits and over time, making their lack of social skills very glaring.

Statistics seem to prove otherwise. Rather than making the situation worse, young people, in a recent survey, who spent a lot of time online said they had more stable friendships than those who spent less. According to the respondents, their online relationships helped them to practice social skills in diversity, cultural understanding, tolerance and sensitivity.

Nevertheless, teenagers who desire to be successful in life need to spend less time on their smartphones and a lot more time studying, whether they be academic work, body language, courtesy, conscious sensitivity, etc. This will help them prepare for the world out there.

Today’s teenagers will need to be strong and to cope with disappointment; to cope in the work place and market place; to make a success of their relationships, marriages and families and be relevant in community development.

In view of the current social environment, how can teenagers develop and improve their social skills and abilities?