Teen age, we will agree, can be quite challenging. There are the raging
hormones, the uneasiness and anxiety as the ‘child’ grows into an adult body
and the uncomfortable coming-of-age social interactions that contribute to the
confused feelings of being a youth. Sometimes, this commotion gets channeled
into abusive behaviour which is referred to as bullying!!!
What is bullying?
Bullying can be referred to as
“continued harassment of another person either through physical or
emotional abuse”. In the past, bullying was mostly perpetrated person-to-person
but today, with the internet accessed nearly everywhere, bullying occurs
through online chat rooms and social media sites. It is a behaviour that is
directed at causing emotional or physical harm to the victim.
Teenage
bullying can occur in the following ways;
§
Threatening and demeaning behaviour that is meant to
belittle or target someone
§
Hostile texts and messages
§
Obsessive calls
§
Stalking
§
Social media attacks
§
Physical intimidation and even more overt physical acts
of violence.
How does bullying usually begin?
Many
parents of teenagers who manifest as bullies cannot help but ask themselves how
their offspring could be capable of such abusive behaviour. They always want to
know who is to be blamed. Would it be the parents, the teenager, the society or
biology? It is believed that there are various underlying causes to a bully’s behaviour. It
could be as a result of the anxiety of being an adolescent, a traumatic
experience, peer pressure, faulty
parenting styles, or a combination of the above. The truth is that bullying is a
show of power by the bully. It feeds the perpetrator’s need for domination which
manifests in degrading the victim.
Why bullying occurs?
§
The bully wants to feel like a big shot to attract
friends
§
There are no negative consequences
§
To gain some measure of power over others
The Role of Certain Contributors
1)
Hormones
Hormones
play an integral role in the act of bullying. Chemical changes in the teen’s
brain as they continue to grow and develop contribute greatly to all “acting
out” behaviors. Imbalances in hormone levels during this time can cause
surprisingly erratic and dominating behavior, even from children who never
behaved in this way before. People who experience hormonal imbalances often
describe intense feelings of turmoil and isolation. These imbalances will often
eventually pass as the chaos of the teen years wanes, unless there is an
underlying chemical problem.
2)
Emotions
Emotions
are directly related to hormonal dynamics, though hormones are not solely
responsible for distressed emotions. Many things could cause a teen to
experience negative emotions and their hormones often serve to amplify them,
like adding gasoline to a fire that is already burning. Romantic problems,
feelings of alienation, parental neglect or abuse can
all lead a teen to feel out of control. To baffled and upset teenagers,
bullying can seem like the only way to take back control of a chaotic world and
master their swirling emotions, and this method can work for a short time. But
the relief that springs from acting out against another is not sustainable.
Eventually the teenager will have to come to terms with their emotional world,
whether through their own means or through the guidance of their elders, talk
and behavior therapy.
3)
Self esteem
Self
esteem issues can also contribute to bullying dynamics. For teenagers bullying
can seem like an easy solution to low self esteem. This is not a conscious
decision, but an underlying desire to undercut others to make themselves feel
more powerful. For example, a teenager may feel over weight, alienated, and
self conscious. If they target an overweight or unpopular person to degrade in
front of people, in their minds they are distracting others from their own
perceived faults and shortcomings. For teenagers bullying can make them feel
powerful where they would otherwise feel threatened or weak.
4)
Acting out abuse
Sometimes bullying behavior can be a direct result of abuse that
the bully is sustaining or witnessing at home. If a teenager feels consistently
dominated by their parents/caregivers, they may attempt to act out that
domination on their peers. This is either because domination was normalized in
their home and they perceive the destructive behavior as normal, or they are
attempting to regain control where their parent/caregiver has left them
powerless. Either way, other adults, especially teachers, have a responsibility
to look out for the early warning signs in adolescents.
Effects
of bullying
The effects of bullying can lead to
permanent problems in the victim’s life. They include, low self
esteem, self hatred, or internalizing and carrying on the dominating behavior
on their own. These problems may take years of therapy, costing lots of money
and time for professional help to repair. The victim of bullying can feel
pressured, worthless, or flawed. They will often blame themselves which could
lead to a lifestyle of self-harm or other destructive behavior.
How to
prevent bullying:
1)
Early
intervention
§
Act quickly. Time is of the essence because bullying can
quickly escalate to violence. The faster the problems are recognized, the
sooner they can be reported and resolved.
§
Report it. When you suspect that bullying is going on,
immediately report to another adult – teachers, the principal, parents of the
youth being bullied or parents of the one doing the bullying, your own parents,
elder in the community, etc. It is important to protect the victim. Do not
ignore!
§
Should you hear mean talk or behaviour, talk to the
offender about the consequences of their actions. Also talk with the victim so
that they can know how to ask for help if the abuse escalates. Often, bullying
scenarios are made worse by the victims’ inability to come forward.
2)
Education
§
Make it known, publicly, that bullying will not be
tolerated in your environment and the sanctions that will be meted to
perpetrators. Post these messages around the community, school, church, office,
etc, for all to see.
§
Videos can be shown in classrooms on the harmful effects of bullying and
portray the act as a crime rather than a harmless act. Usually when teens are
presented with the severity of the consequences, they will be more likely to
act appropriately in situation where bullying may happen.
§
Hold regular talks between teenagers and their parents,
teachers, community leaders on the perils of bullying, how everyone can help to
stop it and how adults have the power to protect and minimize the damage when
and where it occurs.
(Culled and edited from https://nobullying.com/teenagers-bullying-causes-effects-and-solutions/)
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