Grab that Bull

Introduction

The English idiom/phrase, "taking the bull by the horns" means to manage a situation or problem using strength and determination; to take charge of a situation, usually forcefully and with vigor, often with the accompanying responsibility. It means to deal with a difficult and/or dangerous situation in a very direct way: to handle things on your own, with strategic focus, rather than trusting someone else to do it. This idiom also calls on people who have been postponing an action for some time, to finally resolve it. Whatever the problem is, you have to grapple it face on.

According to Tom Bowen, lexographer at onestopenglish.com, “the expression probably originated in the American West where it was a common, but dangerous, practice to wrestle with steers. This was not only done for entertainment at rodeos but was part of the everyday working life of ranchers and cowhands throughout the west. To control a bull or a steer (a young bull) the cowhand would first have to catch it. Trying to grab the neck or legs of a dangerous creature like this was not an option. The only solution was to take a deep breath and face the problem directly by grabbing the bull by the horns and then pulling it to the ground. This expression now means to confront a problem directly without “beating about the bush”.

Why Grab the Bull?

Every teenager looking to make headway in the world needs to be familiar with this idiom in order to prepare to deal with any situation with determination and bravery. You have your whole life ahead of you. God willing, you have probably, up to fifty years of working strength to utilize. Any moment now, you will cut loose from the direct care of your parents and explore the world. What do you want to achieve in life?

The way I see it, the bull refers to the numerous opportunities available out there, waiting for you to just…grab them with dedicated focus and intention setting. Whether you want to pursue a career in the professions or you are keen on entrepreneurship, or looking to fight/defend a cause, the journey to achieving that dream life of yours will throw up occasions that will demand that you confront a difficult, dangerous, or even unpleasant situation or problem head on, in the most direct way, decisively.

How to Grab the Bull

The secret to successfully, grabbing that bull by the horns has to do with the level of your preparation and determination. How hungry are you to achieve what you’ve always hoped for? It isn’t always simple but if you follow the four steps provided by Kevin Harrington, you can — and will — achieve that feat;

1.   Figure Out What You Want

If you don’t know what you want, then you can’t go out and get it. It’s really that simple. Before you can make your plan of attack and go out and achieve your goals and dreams, you have to figure out what you want first. You should spend a lot of time on this step. You don’t want to chase the wrong dream for an extended period of time, after all. At the same time, it’s okay to change your goals and dreams as much as you want. It’s your life!

2.   Figure Out How Far You Are Away From Your Goal/Dream

After you have finally figured out what you want to be in life, you need to figure out how far you are away from this dream. You need to know how long it is going to take you to hit each milestone/goal. If you don’t do that, then you are never going to know when you are supposed to hit your goals — because you won’t really be holding yourself accountable to them — and you will likely never achieve your dreams as a result. Also, you don’t want your goals to seem too far out of reach. You might never meet them if they are. As for your dreams, you can reach for the stars — and beyond. Your goals do need to be challenging … yet reachable.

3.   Make the Necessary Changes

After you have figured out what you want to be and how far you are away from your new life, you need to start making the necessary changes. If you don’t make these changes, then you will never grab life by the horns and you will never get what you want.

This step involves taking action. If you need more schooling to get what you want, to tackle the job of your dreams, then you need to figure out your best schooling options. If you are working at a dead-end job, then you need to get out of it and find a new job/profession. If you need more money for your goals and dreams to come true, then you need to start saving said money. Whatever the case might be, this step is all about making the necessary changes. Without these changes, your goals and dreams will never become a reality.

4.   Fake It Until You Make It

You have figured out what you want, you have assessed how far you are away from your goals/dreams and you have actually started to take action — what’s next? Well, now that your plan is in place, it’s time to fake it until you make it. Faking it until you make it gets you into the mindset of a person who is in the process of living out his/her dreams. This builds confidence. This makes you believe that you are capable of anything. If you are really good at the concept that is faking it until you make it, then people will start believing in you as well.

Now, faking it until you make it doesn’t — and shouldn’t — come with a bag of lies. This should just be a process of you believing in yourself, finding all the answers along the way and trying to live in the shoes of someone who has made it. If you do this for long enough, you will eventually make it as well.

Conclusion

So, I quite agree with Scott Barry Kaufman that “life aint easy. But amid all the zings and zaps are quite a few tasty morsels. And if you aren't open to them, they will pass you by. Which type of person are you? Do you grab life by the horns and ride or tie yourself to the mast”? Grab all the bulls that come your way…by the horns!

Stand Out From the Crowd

“When you STEPOUT, you will Stand out, when you stand out you will definitely be Noticed and when you get Noticed, it means you will be a signboard for many to read. This will be the beginning of building the Empire of your life.” ― Oscar Bimpong

Vocabulary.com says thus: “To stand out is to attract attention, either for the way you look or behave, or because you perform better at something than other people do”. You stand out when you do something really remarkable, inspiring and valuable. On the other side of the road is to fit in. To fit in is to be socially compatible with other members of a group; to conform, be in harmony; to belong; blend in; and constitute part of a larger structure.

For teenagers, fitting in or gaining peer acceptance is a huge achievement. It gives a sense of belonging and even makes you popular. We ascribe this to peer pressure or influence because teenagers want to feel accepted and valued by their friends. True, peer influence can be positive or negative but the teenager that will stand out must find the right balance between being themselves and fitting in with the group.

Keith Allison, as a student in 2013, wrote the following;

You are your own person. Your entire life, you will be you. There are billions of people out there, and you are unique. If we are all so unique, how do we fit in? Why do we care so much about fitting in? If all you need in life is yourself, then we shouldn’t need to be accepted by others. But in a society where people will starve, shave, and change themselves to be accepted, you can’t help but to conform to fit into this society where people will cut, clip, and kill themselves if they aren’t accepted. A society so shallow …

Layers of makeup, pools of mascara or pounds of plastic won’t change who you are on the inside, but who cares what’s under skin-deep? Society expects a Barbie doll out of a Cabbage Patch Kid, and our schools are Build-a-Bear workshop that transform an innocent little kindergartner into a self conscious teenager who is so scared of being rejected she would put out to be called pretty. And why do people do this? Why is it so important to be a piece of this messed up puzzle that is society?

The answer is simply because we have the need to feel like we belong somewhere. If we don’t fit in, we see ourselves as outcasts, as loners. It’s not healthy to feel that way. But the truth is, outcasts are who we really are. If we are all unique, we can never truly fit in.

This is why we have fights break out. This is why we don’t all get along in our groups, because all groups really are is a bunch of outcasts with something in common. We try not to acknowledge this, because if we do, it takes away all the warm feelings of us feeling we have a home base, a group to call our own. It takes away the magic of having a friend, because all a friend truly is, is a unique outcast that you have more stuff in common with than others.

We put a blindfold over our eyes, not wanting to admit we don’t belong. We don’t fit in. We don’t truly have a place of our own. If only we could free ourselves from the warm, fuzzy feeling we crave. If we could only bring ourselves to strip off our blindfolds. Because if we could, then maybe, just maybe, if we could accept that we’re all different, we wouldn’t have to change ourselves. We could change society.   

Everyone is different. All of us are different from others in some way – we have our own distinct race, athletic abilities, academic strengths, body size and shape, kinds of clothes we wear, colour and style of our hair, religion, attraction to other people, family situation, family rules, and beliefs about the world. So, really, being different is normal. Who you are is complicated, and is changing as you are growing up. Figuring out who you are and how you fit in is not easy and might feel very lonely sometimes. Friends and other people at school may have ideas about what you should wear, think, like, or do. Wanting to be liked is definitely natural. It can be hard to be yourself when you feel that other people are watching or judging you. Try to pay attention to yourself and what is right for you. Remember, differences are what make you interesting (www.ghc.org).

“The world accommodates you for fitting in, but only rewards you for standing out.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

I love to read articles by Ms. Lolly Daskal. Apart from being such a passionate writer, she is also the President and CEO, Lead From Within. In her article, “18 Powerful Ways You Can Stand Out in a Crowd”, she provides strategies that truly work below;

1.     Be disciplined. Most entrepreneurs are people of impulse, and most passionate people live by feelings. But those who understand and practice the art of discipline can channel those impulses into something of substance.

2.     Know yourself. Get feedback from others and learn as much as you can about how you come across. Then you can accurately target how you appear in a crowd and what you need to work on.

3.     Be conscious.  Showing up consciously means always being on time, honoring your commitments, and being prepared. Nothing is more powerful than an individual acting out of a well-developed consciousness.

4.     Be confident. When you truly believe you can create what you envision, when you're not afraid of the obstacles, that confidence will automatically make you stand out from the rest.

5.     Practice listening. Learn to listen truly listen--to work toward a deep  understanding and hear what's being said beyond the words. You will stand out in any situation if you become a person who listens from the heart.

6.     Cultivate emotional intelligence. Too many otherwise smart people don't know how to manage their emotions or relate to others well. Emotional intelligence attracts people who are looking to connect with someone who has their act together and who's competent and capable.

7.     Be response-able.  Be the kind of person who responds and remembers to follow through. Most people drop the ball and don't follow up. Respond to emails, calls, requests, and inquiries as soon as you can. You will stand out as a person who respects others and is accountable.

8.     Lead with excellence. Let people know that quality is a core value, that everything that you do you do with excellence. Leading with excellence prepares you to deliver high-quality work and makes you stand out as a professional.

9.     Know your motives. Why do you do what you do? How well do you know your purpose--your why? Knowing your motivation helps you keep going and makes you easy for others to relate to.

10. Take yourself seriously. Being a entrepreneur, leader, or businessperson requires that you become a master at your craft. It means being competent at the things you do, constantly honing and developing your skills in every way possible. When you take yourself seriously, so do others.

11. Always be of service. Being useful, being helpful is an important aspect of making a great impression. Show up with a spirit of empathy and something to give. An attitude of service makes people interested in what you have to offer.

12. Don't make everything about you. Few things are more boring than a self-centered person. When you met someone make the conversation about them, not you. Be interested and engaged; ask questions and listen carefully.

13. Be kind to everyone. Lots of people are only nice to those who can do something for them. Stand out by treating everyone as important and interesting--even those who can do nothing for you in return.

14. Be prepared. When an opportunity turns up, the person who is ready and able to be part whatever needs to happen will always stand out.

15. Be a master collaborator. Be a great team player. Make others look good and sound good. When you collaborate well, people remember how you made them feel--and when people feel good around you, you stand out.

16. Love yourself. It has nothing to do with ego, but a confidence within you that elevates your relationships with everything else. You'll stand out by being modest but happy with who you are.

17. Be inspirational. A passion for life attracts others to you. To stand out and inspire others, you first must be inspirational.

18. Make your life your message. Make sure that everything you do--how you show up, how you act, what you say, what you do--is a reflection of who you are, so your character and spirit are consistent across every situation.

Great things can happen when you set yourself up to be noticed in the right ways. Practice these tips and you'll not only stand out in the crowd but probably travel far beyond it.

“To stand out from the crowd requires you to stand up and stand for what you believe in.” ― Gift Gugu Mona

Awesome Tips for a Beautiful Life in 2019!!!

1.           When you wake up, every morning, give thanks to the Almighty God and pray for His guidance for your purpose each day. The text of The Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 can be a great place to start.

2.           Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day and spend a day, every week, to be with yourself. Learn to appreciate and enjoy your own company.

3.           Take a 10-30 minute walk every day & as you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

4.           Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5.           Drink plenty of water. Yes, water. It is the best beverage, ever!

6.           Try to make at least three people smile/happy each day.

7.           Don’t waste your precious time and energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8.           Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.

9.           Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. Celebrate life!!!

10.        Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything!

11.        Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12.        You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13.        Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

14.        Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is about.

15.        No one is in charge of your happiness except you. Therefore, mind your business!

16.        Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘This too shall pass!!!’

17.        Help the needy. Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not always a ‘Taker’. The saying, ‘Givers never lack’ is TRUE.

18.        What other people think of you is none of your business.

19.        Time heals everything.

20.        However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21.        Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Your job will end some day and you will come home to your family and friends. Therefore, build and maintain good relationships. Stop burning your bridges and erecting unnecessary walls!

22.        Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. Don’t dwell on what you want.

23.        Each night before you go to bed, thank God for what you’ve accomplished, and pray for a better tomorrow!

24.        Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25.        Look out for many other ways to help others lead a happier life too, in 2019…!!!!

(Culled from dailyhealthgen.com)

In Pursuit of Your Goals

"I don't focus on what I'm up against. I focus on my goals and I try to ignore the rest." - Venus Williams

It’s another New Year and everyone is setting and/or reviewing their goals for the year. The New Year signifies a fresh start and an opportunity to start life on a clean slate. It is important for us to have goals in life; to achieve something, no matter how small. But this doesn’t come easy. A lot of adults, not to talk of teenagers, find it difficult to pursue their personal goals to a successful conclusion. And this could be as a result of our lack of patience, intolerance for delayed gratification, or the fear of public ridicule. So frustration easily creeps in at the first signs of failure.

Bernard K. Haynes gives us up to twelve steps that we can follow in pursuit of our life goals. It is quite lengthy but I’ll do my best to summarize his counsel;

1.  Spend quality time alone with God developing your goals

Get alone in a quiet place by yourself away from the distractions of life and begin to seek God’s face. Put away your mobile devices, shut down the computer and turn off the television. Tell your family and friends this is your set time for seeking God’s face to hear His directions and you do not want to be disturbed.

2.  Define your goals in writing

Take your pen, paper and a Goals Matter! Planning Sheet with you during your quiet time. Record in detail the goals you desire to accomplish. When you begin to define your goals in writing, make sure they are SMART: Specific – Measurable – Actionable – Reinforcing –Trackable. Written goals will help bring better clarity to your life. When you document your goals you create a road map to focus your directions.

3.   Create measures to success

Now that you have defined your goals, the next step is to create ways to measure your progress. It is not enough to say I have a goal, but you need to have a way to measure your progress. You define your measures for success by:

    1. Term (length of time): Short Term (within a year); Medium Term (within three years); Long Term (over three years)

    2. The Life Area: spiritual, relational, physical, social, financial, mental or professional.

    3. Dates: Start date, target completion date and actual completion date.

Adding these measurables to your goals brings a greater energy and excitement to achieve them.

4. Define possible opportunities for success

What are the potential opportunities that will bring you possible success or someone connected to you? Is it a job promotion, a more lucrative career, a new investment or a great business deal? One very helpful technique would be to list several opportunities for success in accomplishing a particular goal, like three to four opportunities. Your list will become a huge part of your motivation to achieve your goals when times of discontentment, discouragement and doubt come.

5. Identify obstacles to success

Now that you have spent time alone developing your goals, you have written them down, set measures to success and defined possible opportunities for success everything should be smooth sailing, right? Wrong! Obstacles will come to attempt to distract and detour your goals plan. You may be able to identify some of the obstacles in the beginning, but some will come out of nowhere. You may think your life will be easier if you stay in your comfort zone, but opposition will come even if you stay in your comfort zone or not. So, identify at least three obstacles that you feel may try to prevent you from achieving your goals. List the potential obstacles that you have identified for each of your goals on your Goals Matter! Planning Sheet and begin your journey of overcoming them to successfully achieve your goals.

6. Breakdown goals into manageable action steps

When you have a large goal that you want to accomplish, the best thing to do is break your large goal into smaller more manageable action steps. If you focus on the enormity of the large goal it can become too overwhelming. If you try to do the large goal all at once it can lead to certain frustration and quick burn out. But if you take the large goal and break it down into smaller measureable action steps, you set yourself up for success because you make your large goal more obtainable. Our Goals Matter! Planning Sheets have a section where you can list at least ten smaller action steps with a begin date, target completion date and an actual completion date. Taking the time to break your goal into smaller manageable action steps will put you on the right road to your goals success.

7. Identify people, resources or skills needed

What resources or skills do you have or need to acquire to accomplish your goals? Who are the people you will need on your team to help you achieve your goals? You may have to take a class or do an in depth self-study on a particular subject to educate yourself on a new skill or re-educate yourself on an old skill that you will need. Trust me; you are going to need help from others. Don’t be ashamed or too prideful to ask for help. You can’t do it alone. You will need the support, encouragement and someone to share ideas with. Identify and acquire the resources, skills and/or people you will need and go to work.

8. Demonstrate a progressive attitude

Setting goals is easy, but achieving them is a different story. You must find a way to implement a healthier routine to yield the results you desire. No matter how small or big the goal you set, you must create and implement new habits. How do you expect to achieve your goals with the same tired habits you have failed with year after year? Nothing will change unless you make daily changes. You will continually fail to achieve your goals if your daily habits do not change. Forming new habits is hard. It requires daily action. The promise of rewards will drive you in the beginning. But if you don’t remain consistent and committed, after a couple weeks, your drive will fizzle and you will return to business as usual. If you want your new habits to stick, believe you can change, and take action.

9. Take action

What actions have you taken to turn your goals into reality? Once you have a written goals plan, it is time to take action. It is your responsibility to make daily decisions to do something to move forward. You can’t wait for the right deal, the right people to support you or the right situation to happen before you take action on your goals. You could have written the most captivating, compelling and challenging goal possible, but if you don’t take a course of action to implement your plan, your goal will remain just a wonderful dream. Once you have a desired goal, you can use our Goals Matter! Planning Sheets to properly set your goal in detail and then take immediate action.

10.  Monitor your goals regularly

As you move forward with your goals, you will need to periodically monitor them. It is important to know where you stand in your goals progress in order to make any necessary adjustments or changes. Monitoring your goals regularly will give you the view of where you are and whether or not you are on the right course to completing your goal. The Goals Matter! Planning Sheets are great documents to regularly monitor where you are on your goals progress.

11. Reward yourself

They say, “all work and no play makes you dull”. During the process of reaching your goals you need to implement rewards that follow key steps in your action plan. This will enforce your desire to move forward to the next step on your way to accomplishing your big goal. Make your goal achievement a fun and exciting process. Even your minor victories deserve applause! You can establish bigger rewards as you accomplish more steps to your overall larger goal. This recognition will enforce where you are going and provides an incentive to get the job done.

12.  Keep moving forward

Know that when you take action, opposition and obstacles will try to take you off course. They will come at you daily with a relentless arsenal trying to hinder your forward progress. I admonish you to:

a. Commit to your specific goals path regardless of setbacks, challenges or failures.

b. Continually surround yourself with people who will encourage your forward movement.

c. Consistently show up every day to do the work necessary to achieve your goals.

d. Confidently operate in your abilities, talents and gifts.

e. Courageously fight through the temptation to quit.  

Conclusion

In order to achieve your goals, you must make sacrifices, commit to daily, overcome challenges and work your plan. No one can do it for you. It is your responsibility.

"When you reach an obstacle, turn it into an opportunity. You have the choice. You can overcome and be a winner, or you can allow it to overcome you and be a loser. The choice is yours and yours alone. Refuse to throw in the towel. Go that extra mile that failures refuse to travel. It is far better to be exhausted from success than to be rested from failure." - Mary Kay Ash

2019: Be Courageous

“In this age where people are conditioned to look ‘perfect’, have the courage to be yourself; to be real and not fake things about yourself just to fit into an image. Be authentic, be sincere and the Almighty will open doors for you which you never imagined before” – Mufti Ismail Menk

A Happy New Year shout-out to all the teenagers in the ‘House’! We give glory to the Almighty God for all that we have shared on Great Teens Plus so far and looking forward to more super moments this year in Jesus name. Amen.

Generally, to be courageous means to possess the mental and/or moral strength to wade through difficult situations. Some descriptions refer to the term as ‘being brave’. It thus seems like teenagers are the best positioned to be courageous. They are young, curious, vibrant, and have no one depending on them for their livelihood. So they can be creative, hopeful, explore their curiosity, look to changing the world, solving problems, adding value to their environments, etc. This is the age to live courageously and with a sense of meaning and purpose.

As a teenager, you need to find new and creative ways to instill courage into your life. We can start with the small things – taking tests and examinations; telling the truth; looking out for the little guy; trying something new; saying you are sorry (and, meaning it); putting in the required work; taking responsibility; showing up; leaving; failing; getting back up; and trying again (From “A Few Words on Courage” by Chris Robey).

Courage isn’t something for ‘other people’. We too can manifest courage. It will help us grow and give. And it is available to everyone. But we need to understand what courage really is and then train ourselves to perform small, daily acts of bravery.

Ms. Susan Cain, in her article, “How to be Courageous” provides us with the following tips;

1. Courage means being afraid and acting anyway. If you tend to be fearful, you probably assume that you’re not courageous. Yet, fear is a universally powerful emotion, and terror feels really terrible. With courage, we can seize that feeling of fear and act anyway as a form of nobility. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.” ― Mark Twain

2. Courage is a habit, a muscle you can exercise. Most of us aren’t born courageous, so we shouldn’t expect to magically acquire it without practice. As Brene Brown writes in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, “Courage is…a habit, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.” Get in the habit of deciding what you think about things and speaking from that place of conviction. Practice saying what you think about small, inconsequential things: pleasantly, politely—but firmly.

3. Take notice every time you do something that you’re scared to do. When you do something your body is telling you not to do, you’re already much braver than you think. This is particularly true of shy people for whom daily life requires them to smile in the face of fear. Muhammad Ali said, “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life”. Success without risk is hardly possible. Nothing worthwhile can be achieved from the comfort zone. Once we leave behind our fears and accept that risk is necessary we get the chance to prove the amazing things that we can do.

4. Focus on the people or cause you’re standing up for. It’s easier to be courageous on behalf of others than it is for your own sake. If you feel strongly about the danger in some activity going on around you, you can spare a thought for an impending victim and resist the urge to keep silent. Take for instance, cases of bullying, drug use, sexual crimes, etc, happening in your school. You can report to a school official, or write to the school authority. That would be a very courageous act on your part. Better to speak up and save a life than be quiet out of cowardice.

5. Find courage in numbers. It is much easier to act in the company of even one other person who feels the way you do. The hardest thing in the world is to dissent solo. But sometimes, you’ll have to go it alone. William Penn said, “Right is right, even if everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it”.  

6. Learn to attend to positive signals and to discount negative ones. Many of us have the tendency to pay more attention to disapproval than to positive reinforcement. Be aware of this, and gently steer your mind to positive stimuli. Look out for those who dig out your positive vibes and take note of the negative ones for assessment and ‘point taken’. Don’t dwell on them otherwise; they will wear down your courage.

7. Find role models of quietly courageous people. You need to reach out for the influence of role models for just about anything you hope to do or become. When you’re trying to stretch yourself beyond your apparent limits, there’s a part of you that wonders whether it can actually be done. A role model is a constant reminder that the answer is yes. Channel that person until it feels natural to channel your very own self. Wilferd Peterson said, “Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it...”

In 2019, you will face increased pressure to be what you are not; to defend what you don’t believe in; and to copy the ‘joneses’. We must resist them with courage that is in us, developed habitually, for a time like this. It will be tough. You will lose friends; experience diminished status, popularity and fame; bear mockery, taunts and jeers and even worse. It will be excruciatingly painful and scary. But look at the plus side – you would be building your character; identifying a cause and fighting for it; adding value to the lives of others; and being a solutions provider. With courage, you become a winner by the power of the Almighty God!

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.” ― Mary Anne Radmacher