Ephesians 6:3, "If you honor your father and
mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the
earth.”
Last
Sunday, 17th June, was celebrated all over the world as Father’s Day. In many societies, the father
is stereotyped – a man who has brought forth and raised a child. The criteria
for fatherhood is so basic – be a biological parent and provide the child with
food, clothing, and shelter. Because this description was so unsatisfactory,
some child welfare advocates came up with a new definition of the father – the
concept of Dad. Dad became the
symbol of the man who is not necessarily, the biological parent of the child,
but has loved, cared for and nurtured the child with steadfast commitment and
devotion. He not only provides the child with the basics of life but also, loving relationship,
education and protection. I believe it is this Father that is celebrated, worldwide, year after year, with honour.
Father’s Day also provides the
opportunity to reflect on the contemporary issues, situations, conditions and
circumstances affecting the office of Fatherhood.
Today’s father can be found in
different forms – single, married, employed, stay-at home, gay, straight, adoptive,
step-parent, abusive, irresponsible, etc. Nevertheless, it is a truism
that fathers are important influences on children in every society
and also need to be acknowledged and celebrated.
That is why
the story of Ham, son of Noah, is so profound for today’s teens. The Bible records in Genesis 9:18-27 that Noah was
drunk and laid naked in his room. Ham, his son, went into his father's room and
finding him in that state, went out to scornfully broadcast his father's nudity
and drunkenness to his brothers, Shem and Japheth.
Familiar territory for many teens! We like to make fun of
every odd situation – the person wearing poorly matched clothes; driving a
dirty looking car; wearing torn socks; speaking incorrect English; etc. Not
just at adults but even our peers get a good dose of our ‘fun’ – overweight,
rumpled clothes, torn shoes, less fashionable attire, bookworm, techy, etc. So,
Ham mocked his father for having drunk himself to stupor and lying sprawled out
in his ‘birthday suit’. He had a fine laugh and even invited his brothers to
join in the ‘humour’. His father probably saw him and heard his disdainful
words and was very pained. His own son had disrespected him so badly consequently,
Noah, placed a curse, not on the culprit, Ham, but on Canaan, his son. Canaan’s
lineage would be slaves to their cousins forever.
Lessons to
learn
There are many lessons we can learn from this story.
Firstly, God instructs us to be respectful to our parents and to honour them. Exodus 20:12, “Honor (respect, obey, care for) your father
and your mother, so that your days may be prolonged in the land the Lord your God gives you. To disrespect them is to
act in an insulting manner towards them like being rude and disobedient. It
portrays how little we regard them. It should not be so.
We must understand that our parents have
weaknesses, just as every other human being. And as such, they can make
mistakes too. It is not our place, as their children, to ridicule and
disrespect them. We do not know what could have caused Noah to engage in such
behaviour but what we do know is that many fathers have found themselves in this
situation. Many are driven by frustrations at home, work, in relationships,
with life, etc. Some others just love to drink alcohol and other spirits and
getting drunk and lying in such a dishonourable state isn’t new to them. Ham
may have been sad, ashamed and disappointed at his father’s behaviour but what
He did was unbecoming of a child to his father. Ham ridiculed his father
in his state of weakness. He refused to protect his father’s dignity. Instead
of honouring his father, he disrespected him.
Secondly, we can learn from Ham's brothers.
When Ham ran to them with the 'gist' of their father's condition, instead of
them to join in the jesting, Shem and Japheth quickly went in to cover their
dad with cloth, careful not to see him naked. They protected his dignity.
It doesn't matter what other people say or
think about our parent. As teens, it may be tough when our parent misbehaves
especially, in public. Children witness their parents shouting foul expletives
at people, fighting in public, flouting the laws of the land, committing crimes and
getting arrested, prosecuted and sent to prison. But today, I pray that the
knowledge of the word of God will encourage you. On no account should you make
disparaging remarks about your parent. Rather, like Shem & Japheth, let us
protect their dignity. Let us understand that they are at their point of
weakness. We can gently let them know how their behaviour affects us but we
cannot join others out there to poke fun at their weakness. We can also pray
for them so that God, their Creator, can help them out of their failing.
Conclusion
Ham didn’t do well at all. He should not have
disrespected his father. Not doing the right thing brought his lineage a curse.
May you be a blessing to your parents and receive your father’s blessing rather
than curses, in Jesus name. When we honour our parents, God promises us that we
shall be blessed - you will live long and you will prosper. So shall it be in
Jesus name. Amen.
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