Say No to Idolatory

What is Idolatory? 

Idolatry is the universal human tendency to value something or someone in a way that hinders the love and trust that we owe to God. It is an act of theft from God whereby we use some part of creation in a way that steals the honor due to God. (www.luc.edu)

Idolatry is a pejorative term for the worship of an idol, a physical object such as a cult image, as a god, or practices believed to verge on worship, such as giving undue honour and regard to created forms other than God. As Christians, idolatry is strongly forbidden.

Behaviour considered idolatrous or potentially idolatrous may include the creation of any type of image of the deity, or of other figures of religious significance such as prophets, saints, and clergy, the creation of images of any person or animal at all, and the use of religious symbols, or secular ones. Man commits idolatry whenever he honours and reveres a creature in the place of God, whether they be gods or demons (for example satanism), power, pleasure, race, ancestors, the state, money etc.

Idolatry conflicts with our putting God alone first in our lives, in what we love and trust (see Exodus 20:3-5; Deut. 5:7-9; Romans 1:21-23). In idolatry we put something or someone, usually a gift from God, in a place of value that detracts from the first place owed to God alone, the gift Giver. That thing or person is an idol.

Putting God first means loving and trusting God first, above all, and with everything we are and have (see Deut. 6:5; Matt. 22:37; Mark 12:30; Luke 10:27). God has given us every good thing we are and have. (Neither we nor other humans created us or our capacities to do good.) Our focus should never be on the gifts themselves in a way that demotes the gift Giver. This would be idolatry.

For young people, idolatry is the obsessive and unrealistic worship, devotion or love directed at another person, who is then termed an idol. The obsessed person is known as the idolater and invariably has a false mental perception of who or what the idol represents. The idol may be someone who the idolater knows, such as a school friend or teacher; or, as is frequently the case with teenagers, a public figure such as a pop music star, film star or sports personality.

What causes idolatry? 

For teenagers, intense emotional attachment to unattainable individuals is a normal part of adolescence. These ‘crushes’ or infatuations are a preparation for later relationships, and are usually both brief and harmless. Teenagers, especially teenage girls, are at a point in their lives when they are just beginning to develop self-confidence and self-image. To help themselves, they often fix their attention on certain identified heroes that give them a feeling or semblance of success, status, wealth, romance, fashion, power, etc.

Symptoms of Idolatry:

•                   Feelings alternating wildly between love (when they're winning) and hate (when they disappoint).

•                   Friends, family and work seem insignificant compared to the idol (they are considered as 'under-achievers').

•                   Incessant stalking, writing to or phoning the idol (including pasting life size photos of the idol on bedroom walls).

•                   Feelings of isolation and that others do not understand the situation (no one can abide such obsession)

•                   Feeling a loss of identity (having discarded it for that of the idol).

•                   Obsessively thinking about the idol (evidence of absent-mindedness).

•                   Feeling that the idol is not the same as ordinary human beings (larger than life, can do no wrong).

What are the effects of idolatry? 

While adults would go for ancestral idols or idols that promise wealth, status, good luck, etc, idolatry among teenagers is usually harmless. Teenagers may attempt to walk/dress like their idol, watch all their films or matches, paste their posters in their room walls and read up everything they can about their lives. Usually this phase passes and teenagers grow out of it when they get a little older and start to develop relationships with those within their own peer group.

But occasionally, there may be a serious attempt to turn fantasy into reality. Some teenagers may begin to act as if the 'idol' is a part of their life. They would mould the 'idol' to suit a particular profile and any deviation is not taken lightly. Such fantasies often occur in those who feel unattractive to members of the opposite sex, or who wish to be accepted enthusiastically by their peer group.

There may be attempts to make contact with the person. This could include writing letters, sending repeated emails, constantly phoning, following the idol about or visiting their house or workplace, buying exact style of clothes, talking and walking like them, etc. This obsessive love can be extremely harmful, both to the idolater and the idol. Many teenagers cannot sleep or attend to their school work or chores as a result. This affects their studies and other social interactions. They are easily incensed over any untoward remark against their 'idol'. People, including celebrities, have been stalked by idolaters. Some celebrities have even been attacked or killed because they rejected the idolater’s attentions.

What does the Bible say about idol worship? 

Deuteronomy 4:15-18, "You saw no form of any kind the day the LORD spoke to you at Horeb out of the fire. Therefore watch yourselves very carefully, so that you do not become corrupt and make for yourselves an idol, an image of any shape, whether formed like a man or a woman, or like any animal on earth or any bird that flies in the air, or like any creature that moves along the ground or any fish in the waters below".

Habakkuk 2:18-19, "Of what value is an idol, since a man has carved it? Or an image that teaches lies? For he who makes it trusts in his own creation; he makes idols that cannot speak. Woe to him who says to wood, 'Come to life!' Or to lifeless stone, 'Wake up!' Can it give guidance? It is covered with gold and silver; there is no breath in it".

Note that all these words refer to physical objects which are worshipped, and to their characteristics or the processes by which they were made. From the words listed, we see that the idols were of different sizes and materials; some were made of wood, some of metal and some others were of stone. The words show that the objects referred to were treated as gods in themselves, because there was nothing beyond them. Thus they were lifeless, and worthless.

There is a curse for idol worshippers - those who take the glory that should belong to God to give to another, whether man or beast or image!

·                     Jeremiah 44:8 (New International Version, ©2011), "Why arouse my anger with what your hands have made, burning incense to other gods in Egypt, where you have come to live? You will destroy yourselves and make yourselves a curse[a] and an object of reproach among all the nations on earth”.

·                     Exodus 20:4-5 (New International Version, ©2011), “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ..."

·                     Exodus 22:20 (New International Version, ©2011), “Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed".

No man can dare the Almighty God. Elevating His creation or the work of the hands of man to an object/objects of worship is to dare God. Heb. 10:31 puts it this way, "It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (New International Version, ©2008).

When we believe that anything beside God can help us, satisfy us, give us better pleasure or when we hold something as more important to us than God, then that object of our hope, salvation, help, pleasure, etc, has become our idol. It could be our property, our jobs/business, our spouse, our children, our hobbies/addictions, whatever it is that takes from us more time and attention than God - we are committing idol worship. Unfortunately, the majority of people who believe in God commit this gross offense without even realizing it. Idol worship is a gross injustice, the violation of the first commandment in all the scriptures of God, and is an unforgivable sin if one does not repent.

Quote of the Week!

An African proverb says, "Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved".

Say No to Narcissism

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is the personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit, or simple selfishness. Applied to a social group, it is sometimes used to denote elitism or an indifference to the plight of others. The name "narcissism" was coined by Freud after Narcissus, who in Greek myth was a pathologically self-absorbed young man, who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool. (Wikipedia)

Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has at least 5 of these symptoms:

§  Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

§  Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

§  Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

§  Requires excessive admiration

§  Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

§  Is inter-personally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

§  Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

§  Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

§  Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Hotchkiss' seven deadly sins of narcissism

Hotchkiss identified what she called the seven deadly sins of narcissism:

1.                  Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.

2.                  Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.

3.                  Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may re-inflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.

4.                   Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person's ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.

5.                   Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an "awkward" or "difficult" person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.

6.                   Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.

7.                   Bad Boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.

(Dr. Sandy Hotchkiss is a Clinical Social worker in Pasadena, CA 91101)

Narcissistic traits

Thomas suggests that narcissists typically display most, sometimes all, of the following traits:

•       An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges

•        Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships

•       A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)

•       Difficulty with empathy

•       Problems distinguishing the self from others (see narcissism and boundaries)

•       Hypersensitivity to any sleights or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)

•       Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt

•       Haughty body language

•       Flattery towards people who admire and affirm him or her

•       Detesting those who do not admire him or her

•       Using other people without considering the cost to them of his or her doing so

•       Pretending to be more important than he or she is

•       Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating his or her achievements

•       Claiming to be an "expert" at most things

•       Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people

•       Denial of remorse and gratitude

(David Thomas is the author of the book, Narcissism: Behind the Mask, 2010)

In very simple terms, narcissism is 'foolish pride', d kind we refer to as "arrogance". Why is pride so sinful? Pride is giving ourselves the credit for something that God has accomplished. Pride is taking the glory that belongs to God alone and keeping it for ourselves. Pride is essentially self-worship, self-sufficiency, or narcissism (self-absorption). Other words to describe sinful pride include vanity, egotism, conceit, arrogance, and self-importance. This type of pride is hubristic and repulsive.

The following parenting behaviors may result in a child becoming a narcissist in adulthood:

•       Permissive parents who give excessive praise to the child, thus fostering an unrealistic view of themselves

•       Overindulgence and spoiling by parents

•       Failing to impose adequate discipline

•       Idealization of the child

A child who is spoiled or idealized will grow into an adult who expects this pattern to continue. Idealization may require the child to suppress their own self-expression to meet the desires of the parent and to gain their love and approval.

To develop a realistic image of the self, the child must be provided with realistic information of discipline and reasonable limits must be set by the parents as to what the child can and cannot do. Narcissists generally feel unprepared for adulthood, having been fostered with an unrealistic view of life. Healthy development of the self requires parenting that is demanding enough to encourage growth and independence but not so demanding as to prevent growth through over-control.

Consequences of Narcissism

To the outside world, it appears that narcissists love themselves, but this is not necessarily true. In fact, their self barely exists, and what part does exist is deemed worthless. All energy is devoted to inflating the self, like a persistent child trying to blow up a balloon with a hole.

Because they need continuous proof of the significance of their voice, narcissists must find people, particularly important people, to hear and value them. If they are not heard, their childhood wound opens, and they quickly begin to melt away. This terrifies them. Narcissists use everyone around them to keep themselves inflated. Often they find flaws in others and criticize them fiercely, for this further distinguishes them from those who are defective.

Children are ready targets. Narcissists consider children flawed and lacking, and therefore, most in need of severe "teaching" and correction. This negative picture of children is a sad projection of how the narcissist truly feels about his or her inner self before the self-inflation began. But the narcissist never recognizes this. They consider their harsh, controlling parenting magnanimous and in the child's best interest.

Spouses receive similar treatment. They exist to admire the narcissist and to remain in the background as an adornment. Frequently, spouses are subject to the same barrage of criticism. This can never be effectively countered, because any assertive defense is a threat to the narcissist's wounded "self." Not surprisingly, narcissists cannot hear others: spouse, lover, or friends, and especially not children. They are interested in listening only to the extent that it allows them the opportunity to give advice or share a similar incident (either better or worse, depending upon which has more impact).

Many engage in "sham" listening, appearing to be very attentive because they want to look good. Usually they are unaware of their deafness, in fact they believe they hear better than anyone else (this belief, of course, is another attempt at self-inflation). Because of their underlying need for voice and the resultant bluster, narcissists often work their way to the center of their "circle," or the top of their organization. Indeed, they may be the mentor or guru for others. The second they are snubbed, however, they rage at their "enemy".

What makes it difficult to help this type of narcissist is their self-deception. The processes used to protect themselves are ingrained from childhood. As a result, they are absolutely unaware of their constant efforts to maintain a viable "self." If they are meeting with success, they are satisfied with life regardless of whether the people around them are happy.

What does the Bible say about Narcissism?

Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

Selfishness and vanity are the epitome of narcissism, and they are particularly destructive and have no place in the Christian life. The narcissist has no time for others; their needs and desires are irrelevant to him. His focus, like Narcissus whose life was wasted staring at his own reflection, is completely self-absorbed. His life is of little value to himself, to others, or to God because he considers himself the center of the universe. He has displaced God from the throne of his life and placed himself firmly upon it.

As Christians, we are to be modest and humble (Colossians 3:12), and live in submission to God (1 Peter 5:5; James 4:7) and to one another “with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3 KJV).

Narcissism is bound up in selfish ambition—putting one’s needs and desires above all else—and leads inevitably to discord, envy, strife and evil. These are of the devil, whose desire is to sow discord among believers and thereby discredit their witness in a watching world.

The ‘cure’ for narcissism is the same as for any sin—repentance and a commitment to Christ as Lord of our lives. Only through the power of His indwelling Holy Spirit can the narcissist become a true child of God, dedicated to Him and seeing others as better than himself. Only then can he become a slave of Christ and know the true freedom submission provides.

The Bible says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).

Quote of the Week!

"Love doesn't die a natural death. Love has to be killed, either by neglect or narcissism. Those guilty of these two crimes of the heart always hide behind excuses convenient; too ashamed, lacking in integrity and courage to face the truth. To them, it is always something other than their own actions, desires and self-importance that dictate circumstances. For these people, so blind to truth, true love can never be fully experienced for they have never really given of themselves all that they are." - Frank Salvato.

Say No to Slothfulness

What does it mean to be slothful? The quality or state of being lazy, indolent; a disinclination to work or exert one’s self. This word slothful comes from the Greek word “nothros” no-thros' ; sluggish, that is, (literally) lazy, or (figuratively):—dull, slothful. (Dim, thick, dense, slow, brainless) - (The Curse of the Slothful By Elder Redwood)

How do you know that you are lazy? 

Answer the following questions with a 'Yes' or 'No'.

1.                  Do you intentionally avoid work?

2.                  Do you avoid pressure in your life?

3.                  Do you find every job or task you are given a struggle?

4.                  Do you tend to leave tasks incomplete or unfinished?

5.                  Do you neglect house repairs?

6.                  Do you neglect your hygiene?

7.                  Do you sleep ten or more hours a day?

8.                  Do you have a life filled with wishful thinking, but do little to make it happen?

9.                  Do you make excuses for your lethargy?

10.             Is your life filled with a series of easy choices?

If up to 50% of your answers were 'Yes', then you are becoming very lazy; if up to 70% is 'Yes', you need counselling; but if more than 70% of your answers were 'Yes', then you need DELIVERANCE!!!

What causes laziness (or slothfulness)? Here are just a few explanations:

1.                  Fear

2.                  Frustration

3.                  Lack of control (or perceived lack of control)

4.                  Past learned behavior or conditioning (yes, laziness can be learned)

5.                  Mis-alignment between goals and beliefs or values

6.                  Lack of purpose

Of all these factors, fear is perhaps one of the most common causes of laziness.

Laziness is the biggest enemy of life. If you are lazy then you will not acquire any significant position in your life and will always remain confused. Laziness is such a disease which slowly steals everything from us. The biggest attribute of laziness is that we don't understand its ill-effects on the right time, and afterwards we can only regret.

Laziness not only leads to mental disorders but it also affect our body and health. Due to this habit, the blood does not circulate properly in our body and this leads to decrease in the quantity of pure blood in our body. If the body parts do not get the pure blood, they become less efficient and the energy level of the person becomes down. For proper blood circulation we should have an active and energetic body. By getting pure and well oxygenated blood all the body parts will remain healthy.

The brains of lazy persons do not function properly. They have a weak memory. They take much time to answer any question. Sometimes, they don't even understand the question, thus, become unable to answer them. To become intelligent, skillful and efficient, we should quit laziness first.

What does the Bible Say About Slothfulness?

1.             Proverbs 12:24, “The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute”. 

Slothful here comes from the Hebrew word “remiyah” pronounced rem-ee-yaw' and means; remissness, treachery:—deceit (-ful, -fully), false, guile, idle, slack, meaning that a slothful person is deceitful; he is one that bears false witness, that’s filled with guile and hypocrisy. Here is a person that is trying to live a privileged life but because of his deceitfulness, because he wants to acquire his gains falsely, he will continually fail at life until he learns that righteousness must be a way of life. The other meaning of slothful is the word remissness from the word, “remiss” which means, to be careless, negligent, lax, inattentive, and to be inconsistent.

2.                  Proverbs 12:27, “The slothful (remiyah) man roasteth not that which he took in hunting: but the substance of a diligent man is precious.” 

The slothful man is one who,
a) Fails to realize the advantages of God’s divine plan for him
b) He takes no comfort in what God has provided
c) He is plagued by apprehensiveness, always concerned by his own unfettered emotions.

3.                  Another Hebrew word is “astel” found in Proverb 15:19 says, “The way of the slothful (atsel) man is as a hedge of thorns... (because of his indolence and sluggard attitude)". 

The word 'indolent' means laid-back, lethargic, sluggish, idle;

• His un-renewed mind imagines ten thousand difficulties in the way which cannot be surmounted

• All are the creations of his own imagination, and that imagination is formed by his slothfulness

4.                  Proverbs 18:9, “A slothful man neglects his work, and the materials go to ruin: the “brother”, he destroys the materials.” 

In this case it comes from the word raphah, raw-faw'. A primitive root; to slacken (in many applications, literally or figuratively):—abate, cease, consume, draw [toward evening], fail, (be) faint, be (wax) feeble, forsake, idle, leave, let alone (go, down), (be) slack, stay, be still, be slothful, (be) weak (-en). Some of us are thinking about slackening our hands from what the Lord has called us to do. Maybe because of provocation, distress or distractions of the world system but God says, “Don’t be slothful, is it not the time of harvesting, is it not time for the collection of your rewards"! (The Curse of the Slothful By Elder Redwood)

• Lazy man falls prey to poverty:

Ridiculously indolent and lover of sleep, the lazy man sees lions all over the street(overestimating the difficulty of getting a job or working); his desires ″kill″ him because ″his hands refuse to labour″, and his path becomes a ″hedge of thorns″ ... while he is wiser than seven sensible men in his own eyes. .... His household becomes a real ruin and he falls prey to his ″want″(scarcity) coming like an armed man and in the end to poverty, coming upon him like a robber. The sluggard (lazy man) will share this fate with the talkative persons, with dreamers that ″watch the wind″ or ″regard the clouds″ and with those who ″chase fantasies″ (follow worthless pursuits). (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

Ways to Overcome Slothfulness (Laziness):

1.                  If you have been overcome by a habitual fault of laziness, admit it, go down on your knees and thank God (no. 1), then ask Him for forgiveness (no. 2), and the grace to turn a new leaf (no. 3).

2.                  Get up and get out (out of the bed, or the chair, or the house....whichever). Go for a walk. Drive out. Visit friends. Anything to get you out of the house. While absorbing some sunshine, ask God for inspiration to DO SOMETHING.

3.                  Run errands. List out the things that need to be done (paying bills - PHCN, Water, vehicle licence, shopping, laundry, etc). Running some errands will not only get you moving, but it will inject in you a real sense of urgency and need. If you don't get these things done now, you'll have to do them eventually.

4.                  Keep a positive journal. Make a list, everyday, of ten things that you are good at, things that inspire you (people, places or things: anything that inspires you), things that you see yourself doing in ten years, ten months, ten days, ten hours, even ten minutes! The idea is to create a positive flow of thoughts and feelings that keep your confidence up. These things will remind you that you have reasons to remain confident and keep you from gravitating towards laziness.

5.                  Listen to some music. Listen to music that inspires you and makes you feel good. They can rev up some much-needed energy! Go ahead and dance too.

6.                  Drink LOTS of water. Keeping yourself well hydrated will keep you energized and awake and will give your body some much-needed fuel. Caffeine, while a quick energy boost, will ultimately dehydrate you, which will not only not help you, but it may also give you more issues like headaches and sudden drop in energy.

7.                  Surround yourself with motivating people. Sometimes family and friends know exactly what to say to get you going. Let them. When life hits us with abrupt changes, or even when it just teases us with quirky little annoyances, it can be easier for us to fall victims to our own self-doubt and laziness. The key is to have a plan of action so that we don't succumb to those self-defeating vices.

(Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert)

Quotes of the Week!

1.                  "A busy mother makes slothful daughters" (Portuguese Proverb)

2.                  "The desire of the slothful killeth him: for his hands refuse to labour" (Prov. 21:25)

3.                  "As iron put into the fire loseth its rust and becometh clearly red-hot, so he that wholly turneth himself unto God puts off all slothfulness, and is transformed into a new man." (Thomas A. Kempis)

4.                  "Flee sloth; for the indolence of the soul is the decay of the body". (Cato)

5.                  "Sloth is an inlet to disorder, and makes way for licentiousness. People that have nothing to do are quickly tired of their own company". (Jeremy Collier)

6.                  "Sloth is the torpidity of the mental faculties; the sluggard is a living insensible". (Johann Georg Von Zimmerman)

7.                  "Slovenliness is a lazy and beastly negligence of a man's own person, whereby he becomes so sordid as to be offensive to those about him". (Theophrastus)

8.                  "Excess is not the only thing which breaks men in their health, and in the comfortable enjoyment of themselves; but many are brought into a very ill and languishing habit of body by mere sloth; and sloth is in itself both a great sin, and the cause of many more". (Bishop Robert South)

9.                  "That destructive siren, sloth, is ever to be avoided". (Horace)

10.             "Sloth * * * never arrived at the attainment of a good wish". (Cervantes)