"Say No" Series - Part 1

Today, we will commence the first part in a series of messages specially adapted for teenagers and titled "SAY NO". Referencing copiously from the Scripture, the messages in this Series bring discuss contemporary issues that teenagers face daily and godly teenagers battle with.

How can they get around these issues and live their divinely-purposed destiny? Answers to these and more will occupy us in the coming weeks. Keep reading! Keep believing!! Jesus is Lord!!!

Part 1 - Say No to Profanity (Foul Language)

According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, "profanity are words, expressions, gestures, or other social behaviors that are socially constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude, vulgar, desecrating, or showing disrespect".

Other words that are commonly used to describe profane language or its use include: cursing, swearing, expletives, dirty words, cussing, blasphemy, and irreverent, obscene, foul, indecent, strong, pejorative, choice, or bad language.

Swearing and Foul Language

Hearing swear words coming from a child’s mouth can be upsetting. More astonishing may be that those first swear words he/she utters were learned in the home. Children are like sponges; they pick up all sorts of phrases if they hear them, which is why so many children use their first swear word when they’re still very young.

If your child does swear what should you do? Sometimes when a child is very young the temptation is to laugh – after all, it can seem quite precocious. However, laughing will only encourage the use of foul language. Punishment isn’t a great solution either. Just simply say ‘we don’t talk like that here’. But then parents must ensure that they don’t talk that way at all. Often parents lose sight of their own language and some of this is being modeled at home. It is this modeling that is probably the most important.

But young children parroting a parent is one thing; older children, especially teenagers, who use foul language are well aware of the meaning of the words and the impact they have. So how do you deal with a teenager who swears?

You can give them a gentle but firm scolding, making it very clear that you will not tolerate such language around you. Tell them that profane language is demeaning, disrespectful and unbecoming of a child who desires the conduct and comportment of a gentleman/lady. At this age, the days of grounding or washing a child’s mouth out with soap are gone and instead, the best insurance is to model good language as a lifestyle and to be clear about how you feel about inappropriate language.

The world around us is full of filthy language, and it’s easy to become indifferent to it all, but God wants us to take a different viewpoint toward the words that come out of our mouths - Robert Berendt

The Bible has many references regarding cursing and profanity. One very strong scripture is in Romans 3:9-18. Paul writes that both Jews and Greeks are under sin, and then defines that sin. In verse 14 he states that their “mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.” Verse 18 states, “There is no fear of God before their eyes.” Proverbs 30:11 states, “There is a generation that curses its father and does not bless its mother.” Proverbs 30:17 tells us this displeases our Creator. The Fifth Commandment is broken in this case. This is all very serious to our Creator, so we need to give heed to this problem.

Swearing and cursing may be defined in different ways. From the mild epithet and expletive words to the downright filthy, the cursing of another and swear words have become part of daily speech. People who are under pressure or great fear sometimes slip into cursing without realizing what words are coming out of their mouths. Matthew 26:74 relates the story of Peter’s denial of Jesus Christ. Peter was shocked at the events he was witnessing, and he had reason to fear in the political and military climate of his time. He began to curse and swear as he stated he did not know Jesus. It is not easy to guard our mouths. The book of James has much to say about that. But that does not mean we cannot or should not fight for control. It is possible for us to learn to speak with words that edify and show respect to others.

How should we speak in an environment where filthy language is commonplace?

Proverbs 25:11 tells us that “a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Colossians 4:6 states: “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” Language is an art and speaking with grace and dignity takes effort and training. 

It also reflects character. It is from the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks (Matthew 12:34). Sadly enough, many have not been trained to control their speech, and many greatly lack the abundance of heart that would result in an inner desire and wish to edify and add grace to a conversation or statement.  

We lose our effectiveness as disciples of Christ if we are not courteous in our speech. Just as we like to be respected, we must respect others if we want them to listen to what we have to say. "Seasoned with salt" means that what we say should be "tasty" and encourage further dialogue. Our words should not be dull or tasteless, but lively and flavorful, spiced with skill and understanding. Salt stimulates thirst and Jesus is the living water that quenches thirst! That's the progression our conversations should take. The Bible says we are to know how to govern our communications with every person. There is no place for talk that is reflective of an unredeemed mouth! Questionable remarks should be strongly avoided.

Ephesians 5:4: Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.

The word "foul" is defined as: covered with matter that is injurious, noxious or offensive; filthy; dirty; full of impurity; not favorable or safe; not clean. In summary, it is anything opposed to purity. Teenagers, foul language of any magnitude does not honor God! Obscenity and coarse joking are so common these days that we begin to take them for granted and think them normal. Paul cautions us that improper language should have no place in the Christian's dialogue because it does not reflect God's gracious presence in us. How can we praise God and remind others of His goodness when we are speaking inappropriately one with another?

1 Tim. 4:16: Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.

Consider the victims of your tongue today because your manner of speech influences others! Don't leave your tongue unexamined - your words are nails that fix ideas in people's minds... During the time of the verse above, Timothy was a young pastor. It would have been easy for older Christians to look down on him because of his youth. Yet he had to earn the respect of his elders by setting an example in his speech, life, love, faith, and purity. Shameful conduct of all types has destroyed many of God's servants. Two indications of a person's character are what makes him laugh and what makes him weep. You say you are a Christian - does your life keep up with your profession?? Paul exhorted Timothy to take heed to himself first, thereby protecting others from the same plight. Who stands to suffer at the expense of your unguarded chit-chat?

Col. 3:8: But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

Regardless of your age, dear teenager, God can use you! However, you must rid yourself of shameful behavior and shameful communications. The best words are in the hands of those who know how to combine them for good. Mark Twain put it perfectly; he said, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug." When conduct and conversation are working together in your life, it makes for a powerful witness. Live so others can see and hear Christ in you!

If you your lips would keep from slips,

Five things observe with care;

Of whom you speak, to whom you speak,

And how and when and where...

1 Peter 3:15a: But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man…